Frankfurt, Germany is known not so much for its beer but rather an interesting (and much reviled by some) beverage called Applewine. The slightly carbonated and bitter alcoholic swill is similar to hard apple cider and is often mixed with other juices. Also, like apple cider, applewine goes right through the digestive system and is often imbibed in large quantities.

In Frankfurt Am Main, there exist many Applewine Halls, serving traditional German fair and of course, Applewine in large 5 liter jugs. My experience at Dauth-Schneider in Frankfurt involved MANY liters of applewine and thus, many trips to this wondrous place of pissing!

As I walked to the men’s room to open the proverbial "flood gates", I passed through a long hallway, with traditional German artwork depicting a mythical character "Strummveltpeter" with crazy hair and long finger nails, perpetually holding a jug of applewine (apparently the character is used to scare children into being good).

At the end of the hallway a heavy door led me into the men’s room (notice how heaviness, germaness and quality seem to correlate). The wall was lined with many urinals of varying height and design, seemingly to accommodate steady increasing capacities of applewine-filled patrons. There may have been a stall, but its presence was quickly overshadowed by a marvel of German engineering: the puking sink!

Indeed, the proprietors of Dauth-Schneider had so incorporated extreme intoxication to their business model that they installed a large porcelain fixture specifically for the explosive regurgitation of weinerschnitzel and applewine in the bathrooms. Complete with a splash guard and handles mounted on the walls above the basin. The owners and natives of Frankfurt that we were with verified its purpose!

Alas, even after many liters of applewine and a few rounds of tequila shots, my seasoned stomach persisted in stability and I was not able to use this holy fixture. It will forever remain fondly in my memory.