Restroom Ratings » Costa Rica

Tecnologias Modernas Internet Cafe

Jon — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:31:11 +0000

This is an outdoor internet cafe, with laptops set up beneath a tent canopy on a cobblestoned parkway. Outdoor internet cafe, indoor restroom. The manager did not frown, whine, sigh, ask question or sigh exasperatedly when I asked to use the restroom. He simply said, “claro que si!” (of course!) with a jolly hint of joviality in his voice. Inside I found a toilet seperated from the sink by a metal filing cabinet with more rust than peeling paint. Atop the cabinet
there sat a plate with a mashed up tube of colgate and a spoon, numerous tubberware dishes and a large, mean looking knife. Heeeeeey, I like this place! The toilet paper was brown and industrial. I did not touch it. I did not need to.

– Justin Teerlinck

Bussola XXI

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

As my group traveled from Sarchi to Arenal Volcano this summer, we stopped for lunch at this bar/restaurant. Despite the heat, it was a pretty interesting place to rest for a bit.

The complex has open air dining and we ate our meal overlooking the flora and fauna of the area nestled along a babbling stream. The establishment was decorated by the current owner which includes the tail of a helicopter sticking out the back of the bar and evident as you drive up. The body of the aircraft hangs over the dance floor in the bar.

The open air motif continues in the bathroom where urinals of various heights are mounted beneath an opening through which the landscape can be seen as as you take care of business. The owner brought some levity into the room with jungle imagery on the walls. There is a stall available as well.

These facilities were pretty clean and to the right of towel dispenser are two sinks fashioned out of some type of aluminum pans (just like you might use to cook up Gallo Pinto). I don’t know how tidy this place would be during a night of eating, drinking, and dancing, but it passed muster for lunch. Additionally, there is no door, so it is easy to avoid exchanging germs after washing up, but don’t expect to have a private conversation in the john either – especially since ladies must pass by to reach their room.

Stop by if you have the chance!

Puntarenas-Tambor Ferry

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

When taking the one hour ferry ride from Puntarenas to Tambor in Costa Rica, I would recommend staying hydrated, particularly if you’re spending time on the top deck in the middle of the afternoon with the sun beating down on you. Maybe even raid the on-board snack bar for some pineapple juice or a liter or two of agua if you’re feeling thirsty. Just be warned, the accommodations for expelling your liquids are not quite as friendly as the ones for imbibing it. Fortunately, the relative heft of this people, car, and cattle hauling vessel and the fact that it sails the calm waters of the Gulf of Nicoya make for a non-jarring experience. This also probably prevents a fair amount of "waste" from ending up in unwelcome places. Not all of it though. It would be best to minimize your exposure to this restroom particularly since it was out of handsoap and the handdryer did not function.

However, there was a friendly little Strawberry Shortcake sticker on the lower right corner of the mirror in the men’s room. Nice touch.

Barceló Tambor Playa

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The all-inclusive Barceló resort is situated on the west coast of Costa Rica in the Golfo Nicoya.

Certainly, when nature calls, a trip may be in order to your hotel room to enjoy a private moment and take advantage of the carefully folded end of toilet paper the maids so dilligently repair daily. But if the poolside bar with it’s everflowing daiquiris get the better of you, you may need to make an emergency visit to the much closer restroom just outside the El Toucan Buffet. Due to it’s vicinity to the massive buffet – which lures hundred of crass, overweight tourists in floral prints and ruddy sun-scorched skin hourly – I surely expected to hear some quasi-carrib renditions of classic American hits piping through the speakers. Or at least the vibrant "Amor Tambor", featured daily at the poolside Water Aerobics – where nubile hotel employees drenched in Cocoa Butter dance seductively while teeming with Richard Simmons enthusiasm. Instead, I was treated to the soothing sounds of the most stereotypical Kenny G tune you can imagine. (You know it. You love it). This was perhaps the most un-Costa Rican event during my stay, but who’s to dispute the universal appeal of the G.
The restroom was mediocre otherwise. It sported the same tile as the hotel rooms and nice solid green doors in the stalls with sturdy locking doorknobs. It was slightly dim and "flourescenty" – a strange break from the glaring glow of the equatorial sun.

Copa de Oro

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

This loo features the squarish tiled trough urinal frequently
encountered in Central American lavatories marked "caballeros." The
women’s has a shower. Both were dirty, but not butt nasty. Same set
up as everywhere else. Toilets on the inside. Sink for washing up
shared by men and women and in full view of restaurant patrons on the
outside. Mmmmmmm hmmmmm. You can wash off the poo and amend your
dinner order at the same time. Who said you can’t find convenience in
Central America?

– Justin Teerlinck

Rincon de Viejo National Park

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

This place is like a mini Yellowstone. Here, the intrepid, the shy
and the stupid can gaze upon mud vents and sulphur pots called
fumaroles and a baby volcano called a volcanito. The baby volcano
cries and squeals alot and screams "conserve me! Conserve me!
Ahhhhhhhhh!" Its quit a sight. Over three decades ago (a relatively
short time, geologically speaking) the volcanito spewed forth from the
earth in a furry of ash and molten smegma, proving once again that
volcanoes do not need human beings more than human beings need them.

Park flora includes centuries old guanacaste (for which the province
is named)and ceiba trees towering thousands of meters above the
Colorado River, their tap roots stepping onto the trail like
giants’feet, their branches twined and entagled in mirad sepentine
forms that defy the essence of every storybook imgined Deep Dark
Wood. Multicolored squrrels dart to and fro white monkeys prowl the
treetops in search of a furtive glimpse of their primary prey:
gringos’handbags.

The servicios sanitarios, as they are called here include toilets that
flush by pulling a rope that sticks out of a hole where the handle
ought to be. Giant, deadly human hating poisonous spiders creep in
the corners, waiting to commit acts of unspeakable degradation and
cruelty upon any who venture too near their evil, thread woven lairs
of death. One of the bathrooms featured a hand drawn picture of a
toilet with the word "malo!" (bad!) screaming its monosyllabic warning
at the weak, weary and innocent. Why "Malo!"? Don’t know… The
toilet flushed, there were no spiders, it looked clean. Maybe a clown
put a spell on thaty stall and infused it with evil clown mojo. That
might be hard to detect without infared or ultraviolet.

– Justin Teerlinck

Bosque Eterno de Los Niños, Bajo de Tigre Trail

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The Bajo de Tigre trail gives you the best wildlife viewing bang for
your buck in this area. This small haven, named for the children who
donate money to ensure its protection is much overlooked by people
seeking the expensive and famous Monteverde and Santa Elena
cloudforests. Though Bosque Eterno is not a cloudforest, we saw more
Cappucino monkeys (who make coffee with their tooters), snakes and
birds here then anywhere else. At a fraction of the cost of the other
forest reserves you will also gain access to a small nature center
where you can identify the birds you just spotted and drain your
bladder of the water you just drank. The single unisex toilet is
small, clean and has a nifty little poster.

– Justin Teerlinck

Santa Elena Cloud Forest Reserve

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

How does a cloudforest become a Cloudforest Reserve? Well, first the forest candidate must make a simple phone call to the Reserve Office. "Hello? Yeah, my name is Santa Elena. Uh huh. Yeah, I’m a forest near Monteverde and I’d like to make a reservation for oh… 30,000 hectares. Do you have any space available? Oh you do? Great! Yes. Right. I have clouds most of the time, monkeys, and all the green stuff. Yes, I’ll accept visitors. Sure… Sure. Alrighty are you ready for my Visa number?"

In keeping with the cloud forest itself, the toilets at the visitor center are wet and have nothing available to see. I checked each bathroom and only one women’s contained any toilet paper. A sign on the inside of one toilet reads: DO NOT PUT PAPER OR SANITARY PRODUCTS IN STOOL ¡FISH IT OUT! Thankfully, there were no sanitary products in
my stool, or else I might have had to go fishing, and where, I ask, would I get a license? Yeah, and uh, where are you gonna get the paper anyway? The visitor center doesn’t provide it.

– Justin Teerlinck

Mirador Quetzal Restaurante

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Trough urinal. Two different kinds of toilet paper to suit every
bottom. Soap and running water and a light switch. Clean. This
place also sports shockingly spectacular pan-o-ramic views of San
Jose, Alajuela, and cows grazing. The food is good and reasonably
priced and management will tell you everything you need to know to
catch the bus to Volan Poas. But expect happy noises to percolate
forth when the World Cup is on and Team Italia wins.

– Justin Teerlinck

Volcan Poas National Park

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Restrooms at this visitor center were spotless, wheelchair accessible and featured the only automatic flush I have encountered in Costa Rica. The place was cleaner than the international airport. Restrooms on the trail between the visitor center and the volcano featured a strong, dang nasty odor as a way to guide blind people over. Men’s also featured the usual trough urinal, but the thing was totally horizontal, making splashback an obvious hazzard. Much like the ovservation deck overlooking Poas, the second largest active crater in the world, the sign by the urinal should read "stand back!". The volcano itself features no lava, but active fumaroles spout yellow smoke that can be seen and heard from a distance, surely fulfilling someone’s fantasy of witnessing the largest smoke bomb ever created. Even on cloudy days this volcano is far cheaper and more easily seen by visitors than the grossly overhyped and outrageously expensive Volcan Arenal.

– Justin Teerlinck