Restroom Ratings » Honduras

Celenque National Park

Jon — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:09:55 +0000

Thanks Lempira. Thanks a lot. Thanks for the rebellion. You mopped the floor with the imperialists. You did it for the country. You did it for the cause. You really rocked. Thanks for shooting that bow and arrow at all the posers out there. We’re gonna name some money after you, maybe a town or two also. How about that? Oh, you want a statue too?
Done.

Near the town whose name thanks the man there lies a national park, whose name is Box of Water, or Celenque. Where is the box? Its inside us all, waiting to be opened and explored and allow our entrapped souls to build bridges of understanding. Across the perilous pit of misunderstanding to the golden palace of freedom. Its also 11 rivers that pour down from the heights of Honduras’ tallest mountain.

It could also be the toilets that serve the visitor center and actually flush, although they’re more circular than boxey. Really though, it is a subjecive observation. We could fight and disagree about it all day but what good would that do, really? Instead, let’s all just chill out and have a good time and listen to our hearts and minds and get wined and dined.

Celaque has big pine trees, and cloud forest above 5,000 feet filled with bromeliads and other -iads, not to mention rare orchids growing out of logs, waterfalls, howler monkeys, giant spiders who hate people, rain, and mist. All those things use the bathroom in the forest.

– Justin Teerlinck

Copan Ruins

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

See the bars on the windows? Bathroom theft is common in this area of the world. People wake up to discover that entire restrooms have vanished without a trace, only to be resold on the gray market. Everything for a price. Therefore, the bars keep the restrooms stationary. A millitary guy, also known in local parlance as a "soldier" with an M-16 rifle at the Copan Ruins also helps.

At Copan you can pay to see the ruins, the museum or the tunnels. We did all three and although the museum features the greatest Maya artisanship of the ancient world, the tunnels proved to be an educational experience as well. Deep beneath the living quarters of the ruling elite, to the left of the fearsome underworld deity, one finds an underworld toilet. It was here, in this place, far, far, far below the Earth that certain deeds were done, and not done dirt cheap and sent via complex system of astrologically determined aqueducts into the Pacific ocean and out to sea. In this way, the nobles sent a piece of themselves on the great journey long before their immortal souls were destined to do so, thus securing their place among the infinitude of the infinite, for all time.

Really, you need to get down here and check this out.

– Justin Teerlinck

Macaw Mountain Park

Jon — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

For just 188 lempira ($10 U.S.) you can have a tour guide show you macaws, toucans, sheer limestone cliffs, and bushes bursting with vibrant flowers. You’ll also be able to hold some of these colorful and characterful rescued and rehabilitated birds and drink gourmet cappucino made from shade grown coffee beans grown at the park. You can swim in a gently flowing river or marvel at the views of the surrounding foothills from the mirador at the end of a well marked nature trail. Pure water (a taken for granted expense in Central America) can be had for free courtesy a natural spring that took a test and got 95%. Thats a darn smart.

The people who built the wide flagstones of the paths in this place seemed to anticipate the needs of the weak Norte Americano bladder, for restrooms can be found almost around every corner. Full service restrooms, mind you, whose taps and toilets emit only spring water, whose walls doth know the bounty of surplus toilet paper and paper towels, whose wooden, venetian blind style doors allow light to penetrate, but delicately. Tourists are, after all, shade grown as well. Not only were all the facilities full service, but they manage to pull it off with real Central American flare, for the toilet stalls are indoors and completely enclosed but the washroom sinks are partially open, a common feature of most public commodes in this region.

– Justin Teerlinck