Restroom Ratings » Wisconsin http://www.restroomratings.com Celebrating the Joy of the Public Restroom Since 2001 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:19:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 en hourly 1 Clam Dam County Park http://www.restroomratings.com/467/ http://www.restroomratings.com/467/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:46:56 +0000 Jon I caught no fishes here. Neither did Papa Larry. A toddler next to me caught a sunfish, but not me. What did I catch? I caught me a case of the “Gots-to-pees” and everywhere I turned somebody at this remote, woodsy park said, “Oh say, how’s the fishin in your spot? In my spot I ain’t-a catched nothin.”

“Fine, just dandy.” I’d say.

“That’s a lie, son,” the other fisherpeople said. “You have to pee now dontcha boy?”

I tooka my hat off and scuffed at the ground a bit. “Yessir.”

“Well then you best be on your way then. Go on, get!”

The crapper here is a square chimmney-like hole, covered in streaks of splattered liquid feces, the remanants I’m sure of many bodies purging out the uncooked pork brats and the lactose intolerant ice cream cheese bar treats and braunschwaggwer flavored beer. Ah, lets make that “treets” instead shall we? Good boy.

As I sat on this thrown, I pretended I was Dick Van Dyke in the movieshow, “Mary Poppins.” I pretended that as a chiminny sweep, one of my tasks was to sit on top of somebody’s chimmney and crap in it, and then sing a merry song about my deed.

Would you like to hear my song? Okay, boys and girls. I just knew you would.

Chim-chim-iney, chim-chim-iney
Chim-chim, cheroo,
I had to drop my drawers
on top of your flue!

Chim-chim-iney, chim-chim-iney
chim-chim, cher-ey,
Since I made a BM down your hearth
Then I may as well also pee!

Chim-chim-iney, chim-chim-iney,
Chim-chim, chim-choy-let
The view from your rooftop
Is the view from my toilet.

- Justin Teerlinck

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/467/feed/ 0 Mobil http://www.restroomratings.com/9/ http://www.restroomratings.com/9/#comments Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 Jon Wisconsin Dells, "Las Vegas of the Midwest". Home to the Infamous Tommy Bartlett Thrill Shows, the worlds largest water park and scenic tours with amphibious vehicles. However, this restroom failed to live up to the glitz and glamour I was expecting. Located just a few blocks from the core of Main Street (rightly, some call it Bourbon Street), it is quite amazing just how ordinary and bland this restroom managed to be. Cudos, tho, for the nod to 70’s color schemes with the harvest yellow dividers.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/9/feed/ 0 Shell http://www.restroomratings.com/10/ http://www.restroomratings.com/10/#comments Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 Jon You always know you’re in a classy establishment when the outside is emblazened with the words "CHEESE" and "LIQUOR". Of course in Wisconsin, establishments of this sort are all but uncommon – speckling the interstate from Hudson to Kenosha. The highlight of this particular lavatory had to be the bountifully stocked vending machines… and when I say vending machines – I’m not talking about Pepsi and Gardettos.

The overall cleanliness was a bit tepid with refuse on the floor and various liquids (water and urine being the most popular) aspersed here and there. However, this restrooms savior was the shiny red and black tile which added a certain flair without sacrificing tact.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/10/feed/ 0 Mobil http://www.restroomratings.com/3/ http://www.restroomratings.com/3/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon On a short roadtrip to rural Wisconsin, I discovered this Mobil a half-mile off the highway in the homogenized farming community of Withee. From most stances, the restroom was like many I’ve encountered.. save for one thing. A windy bright green ivy was perched solidly on the top of the toilet. Never has a piece of fake flora been so welcoming to this weary travelers eyes. It was almost enough to make up for the slightly muddy (at least I think it was mud) floor and the awkward location of the paper towels and trash can. I felt that putting the trash can to the right of the sink along with the paper towel dispenser might’ve made for a more complete restroom experience. The movement from urination to cleansing to drying would’ve worked well going left to right in one fell swoop. Instead I found myself moving back towards the toilet as I dryed my hands. Of course, that brought my attention back to the beautiful ivy and made me forget the whole inconvenience.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/3/feed/ 0 Lambeau Field http://www.restroomratings.com/34/ http://www.restroomratings.com/34/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon Newly renovated, this restroom was tidy and efficient despite a sell-out crowd. Upon further research, I found that the womens facilities increased from 180 to 600+ and the men’s increased from 436 to more than 550. Obvious point deductions for the quantity-over-quality sacrifices and overall lack of character. C’mon, it’s the Green Bay Packers… there’s gotta be something they can do to spice up these restrooms — Brett Favre wallpaper comes to mind.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/34/feed/ 0 Gruenkies http://www.restroomratings.com/46/ http://www.restroomratings.com/46/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon You’ll find this minute restroom in the beautiful Lake Superior port city of Bayfield, Wisconsin. Take a left immediately upon entering the front door of this fine eating establishment. For men over 6 feet tall, you will find the large eye-height window facing Main Street both entertaining and slightly daunting, as it would be easy for any passer-by to peer at your package. Points were deducted for a faulty lock mechanism and the cramped size. However, I found the vintage King Kong poster in the men’s bathroom very charming.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/46/feed/ 0 Apple Barrel http://www.restroomratings.com/47/ http://www.restroomratings.com/47/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon This facility was clean, roomy and appropriately decorated – but a complete disaster for anyone who has grown accustomed to using toiletpaper after making a pee pee or doo doo. I searched near and high for a hidden backup or emergency roll to no avail. But alas, this down-home diner disappointed in the double-ply division.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/47/feed/ 0 Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum http://www.restroomratings.com/51/ http://www.restroomratings.com/51/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon The four men’s and women’s restrooms at the Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum are clean, freshly scented, well stocked, and well lit. The women’s facilities frequently have small floral arrangements, which add to the ambience, while the men’s bathrooms benefit from self-flushing urinals that ensure odors are sluiced away.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/51/feed/ 0 Green Mill/Holiday Inn http://www.restroomratings.com/58/ http://www.restroomratings.com/58/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon This combo restroom — actually located in a hotel lobby — is shared by a Holiday Inn and a Green Mill restaurant. The layout and decor was typical of contemporary restroom styling. Presentably clean and lacking any strong odors made for higher marks and the timed-flush urinals are always a treat.
Oh, and gold stars for the festive Thanksgiving bouquet by the sinks. Nice touch.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/58/feed/ 0 Rich’s Restaurant http://www.restroomratings.com/61/ http://www.restroomratings.com/61/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon These small but functional facilities exhibited an extraordinary amount of aromatic masking. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the scent, but it was quite flowery.

On the inside of the door was a comical face drawn with a Sharpie marker which appears to have been constructed from a previously obscene drawing – of what, I’m not quite sure.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/61/feed/ 0 Citgo http://www.restroomratings.com/62/ http://www.restroomratings.com/62/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon As of Fall 2003, this restroom was in a pretty sad state. Fortunately, things are looking up, as it appears that the whole building is getting a facelift which would include a brand-spanking-new restroom.
The current setup is only accessible via the outside and requires a key to get into (attached to a broken broom handle no less). Deep pink handsoap covered much of the sink and small quantities of various other secretions coated the floor and fixtures. The toilet looked like it hadn’t been flushed in a while and I wasn’t about to be the first to break that trend. The smell was quite overwhelming and made me wish I had taken a deeper breath before entering so I could’ve held it longer. (Note to self: Take deep breath before entering any restroom that requires a key.)

On a more positive note, the hands free papertowel dispenser was an unexpected luxury. Just wave your hand in front of the sensor and the product dispenses automatically.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/62/feed/ 0 U-Fuel http://www.restroomratings.com/71/ http://www.restroomratings.com/71/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon This was a rather typical gas station/convenience store restroom save for the quirky plastic garbage bin with a molded fake-thatch texture. It featured "gymnast bars" for accessibility, a baby changing table and a sensuously curved sink all in a single unisex package. Cleanliness was negligible but overall above par (especially considering it´s propinquity to a large adult entertainment emporium). When visiting, be sure to check out the delectable Fish Fry and popovers at the small diner attached.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/71/feed/ 0 Applebee’s http://www.restroomratings.com/72/ http://www.restroomratings.com/72/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon It’s no secret that Applebee’s restrooms lack the Ameri-kitsch decor seen throughout the rest of the restaurants. However (restroom owners take note), plastering the Life section of USA Today in front of the urinal is a spectacular way to distract the users from the fact that you have removed them from their fantasy land of John Wayne movie posters and local high school team jerseys and injected them into a high-contrast apple-tiled wasteland of modern bathroom convenience.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/72/feed/ 0 Perkins http://www.restroomratings.com/73/ http://www.restroomratings.com/73/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon Most everything in this facility was properly situated and suitably clean to allow for an enjoyable experience. In the men’s bathroom however, both urinals were set to the "low" height. Typically you find urinals to be positioned at one of three heights: "high" – for taller men, "low" – for boys 10 and under, or "middle" – the "just right" setting in Goldilocks terms. In crowded situations, you sometimes draw the short straw and end up at the lo-boy, squatting carefully to make your mark. The other option, of course, is simply backing up a few feet and carefully arcing your stream – which can be both challenging and exciting.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/73/feed/ 0 Knights of Columbus Hall http://www.restroomratings.com/74/ http://www.restroomratings.com/74/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Jon One may expect the restroom of a fraternal society to have lots of fancy stonework, ancient inscriptions and perhaps a secret passage or two. Of course, if your talking about the Knights of Columbus (founded in 1882 and supposedly bound by the ideals of Christopher Columbus who brought Christianity to the Americas), you’ll have to settle for loud tilework, forest green accents, and a ashtray in between the urinals (handy isn’t it).
Things were overall tidy but the lighting was dismal and the whole room smelled of stale smoke.

]]> http://www.restroomratings.com/74/feed/ 0
Navigation »