Heavy Hearts and Un-emptied Bladders
PUA Causes Shame, but Hope Lingers
by Justin Teerlinck, illustrations by Jon Thompson
It happened to me. It could happen to you too. Hello, my name is Justin and I have PUA. What is PUA? PUA or Public Urination Anxiety, is a disorder that strikes a fair percentage of American people at some point during their life's journey. Some folks tend to associate "public" urination anxiety with the ordinary feelings of despair, shame and rejection experienced by those who urinate where it is not allowed by society. But the negative feelings associated with urinating at the bus stop, parking ramp or private vegetable garden are a healthy sociological mechanism for balancing individual desires for deviant, pee-anywhere hedonism with a class stratified, hierarchical societies' sanitary need for conformity to agreed upon standards for personal waste elimination. In any urban area with a concentrated population which exceeds the local environmental biological carrying capacity, one may find such standards more vigorously enforced. But I digress.
Public Urination Anxiety differs from the aforementioned sociological phenomenon in one fundamental respect. Sufferers of PUA feel anxiety while attempting to eliminate in places where it is allowed, i.e. in public restrooms. PUA has a profound effect on the public liquid waste elimination process. In mild forms of the disorder, the victim has difficulty urinating in a urinal in the presence of co-urinators, or people waiting to urinate. In those more moderately afflicted, it is nearly always impossible to urinate in a public urinal, with or without the presence of co-urinal users or additional potential urinal users waiting to urinate. In the most severe cases, public urinal use is universally curtailed, even when no co-urinators are present. Isolated by primal fear, the victim wheezes and squeezes and whines and dances, but at most only a few drops will emit from his or her nozzle, and thus defeated, he or she leaves the empty restroom ashamed, alone, and unable to find relief or fend for him or herself.
For some reason, this disorder has no bearing on the fecal elimination process (fep), possibly because the rigid formation of anal tract muscles lends greater strength for contraction in conjunction with the walls of the smooth, lower colon. Also the humours which fill the lower bile cavity tend to interact with the green, brain bile more effectively, possibly allowing greater synapse response time and thus greater mental dominance over the colon through thought and exercise of willpower alone.
The epidemiology of this ailment remains enigmatic. Does the problem lie with the plumbing or the plumber? Is PUA a physical disease or a mental disorder? Some in the psychological community believe that late age toilet training accidents coupled with shame based parenting and restitutional overcorrection may be the culprit. But isn't that what they say about everything? Those in the physiology camp claim that the cause may have something to do with the anticular spastic penile nerves. Some groups are performing Gorky D's Drip and Volume tests to determine whether urethral lead poisoning may be the missing factor. Mosby's Medical, Nursing, & Allied Health Dictionary defines "urinary habit training" as "...establishing a predictable pattern of bladder emptying to prevent incontinence for persons with limited cognitive ability who have urge, stress, or functional incontinence." This technique, coupled with the use of a urometer to facilitate flow acceleration may provide physiological solutions to PUA sufferers.
In recent times, psychological and faith based solutions have also gained prominence as federal monies were released by order of the president to study the efficacy of Christian based "urinary exorcisms." According to Rev. Lane M. McMaxby of the Christ Church of the Dude Way Holy, "An angel that came out of a giant egg done learned me that it's a demon that hold the urine back. This is a form of punishment for sinners. As soon as they reject Satan and admit their errors, we can begin the demon removal process." Various avenues of psychotherapy show promise as well including a various of primal scream therapy known as "primal pee therapy," where participants scream while attempting to urinate.
Additionally, a more artistic and experimental line of treatment exists called Total Urinary Experience. TUE, loosely modeled on rebirthing techniques, involves simulating the entire urinary process through the artistic channeling of sound, music, water and energy. Participants come to sessions prepared with a swimsuit, and are pushed down a waterslide and into a pool of warm water by self esteem counselors to simulate "...the process of being, doing and becoming," according to Wanda Seed Vortex, chairhippie of the Urine Nation Center For Cognitive Healing and Urinary Awareness. Also, according to Vortex, "...the person becomes the urine, visualizing it passing through her, and that awareness facilitates an awakening." In addition to helping people reclaim their identity, "What we really do, is help people explore parts of themselves that used to be taboo and off limits, and that can be empowering, leading to better bladder health. The person and the toilet are A and B. The urine is the traveler. Its like a spiritual telephone line. It connects our bodies to the outside world of water. Through our urine, we realize the ocean within and without us. Like a great river, the stuff just flows."
For the hundreds, millions or possibly hundreds of millions of PUA sufferers across this great land called America, there is the horror of stigma, but there may also be the hope of help. Half-way houses have popped up everywhere to serve PUA populations ground beneath the bootheels of societal disapproval, housing discrimination and the creeping snake of abject loneliness. Special PUA bathroom stalls which are designed for decency and privacy and can calm PUA sufferers have been erected in airports and other hectic environments where the PUA is likely to flare up. The stares and slurs of co-urinators continue, but this and other small measures of compassion continue to astound and enlighten, reconnecting humanity as the profile of PUA has been raised by foundations and advocacy groups.
As a PUA sufferer myself, I know that every day will bring a new challenge. An avid car traveler or "road tripper" as it may be termed, I often experience the pain of not knowing how far I will be able to "go" without having to "go." Each day, I am able to go a little longer, a little further, taking baby steps into a new world of discovery. Each day, I am a little less a victim, and a little more able to urinate... at least if nobody else is around. Each day, I rewrite the limitations of my being, only to rewrite them again the next day, only to rewrite them again the day after that.
My name is Justin and I have Public Urination Anxiety. You can stare at me but you will not diminish my power of positive potential. I may have PUA but I also have the power of love. So do you. How will you use it?
I have talents and abilities.
I am a whole person.
I believe in me and what me can accomplish.
When me becomes I, I can fly. I have power n' stuff.
- poem by Anonymous, PUA sufferer who overcame their limits with abilities
Justin Teerlinck is a 28 year old freelance writer who resides in St. Paul, Mn. His bathroom reviews are founded on a bedrock of 20 solid years of independent toileting. You can find his work in the Double Dare Press, and in the Whistling Shade. Teerlinck has experience with travel writing, social commentary, movie reviews, miscellaneous reporting, short fiction, novels, animal stories, and fake advertisements but he mostly considers himself a humor writer above all. Teerlinck welcomes your non-threatening input. Write to him at Here_Leezard@msn.com.
