Brown County Historical Museum

Brown County Historical Museum

New Ulm, MN

Reviewed February 5th, 2005

If the Gingerbread Man wanted to upgrade from a Gingerbread House for the sake of his growing Gingerbread Family, he would have built the Brown County Historical Museum. Maybe he would have called it something else though. The Brown County Historical Museum contains arrows that the area Dakota Indians shot at German settlers in order to prevent them from raising pigs to make into Braunschwagger. The presence of the Glockenspiel at the center of town instead of a Sun Dance Pole is testament enough that Taoyateduta's impressive war club was insufficient to stem the tide of agrarian aggression which swept Indigenous peoples off their ancestral lands forever. The person who tended the desk on the day of our visit declared that the Indians who fought against the whites were "just creepy." Since the beer, schnitzel, sauerkraut and braunschwagger won, there is a clear need for the bathroom I found in the basement in order to unload these items from the overstuffed colons of the conquerors, where they have rotted for all of a hundred years and then some. I found a restroom, tiny and private, with fixtures like the ones on airplanes. Never the less, it provided a necessary escape from the weight of history and lost knowledge, and I gladly took it.

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 8
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