Wild River State Park: Camper Cabin Outhouse

Wild River State Park: Camper Cabin Outhouse

Almelund, MN

Reviewed February 13th, 2005

My girlfriend said it smelled like bloody diarrhea. "You know how blood smells in large amounts," she asked me. "No ma'am. Can't say I do," I said. "Oh, well. You can smell the iron in it. It's a very metallic odor." Ah, I see. I wanted to know what it looked like. She said, "go ahead and see for yourself. I can't go back. I almost threw up the first time." When I reached the plywood and corrugated plastic building, I opened the door cautiously with my foot. Holding the camera out in front of me for protection like a crucifix, I entered an unearthly foul fecal realm of wadded up toilet paper and human excreta. When I crept up to the toilet pit and looked in, I began to swoon with vertigo, not from the depth of the pit but from the height of the shit pile. It was, in a word, ghastly. By force of will alone was I able to suppress the gag reflex long enough to survey the splatters of stool, which appeared to have been fired out of a long range artillery piece. That is to say, I was able to supress the gag reflex for just long enough to get outside without hurling. Most of the fecal mess was in or around the toilet, as if that helped any. Nary twenty feet away sat this poop pit's younger, well kept little sister a modern, solar paneled outhouse with a sign which read: closed for the season.

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 1
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