Pamida

Pamida

Luverne, MN

Reviewed June 9th, 2005

Rhonda, your reputation has been sullied in the middle stall at Pamida. Thought you should know. Don't worry I don't believe it. You're a good, lovable person with talents and abilities. Surely you are beautiful the way you are. Surely you do not need the services of a cosmetic surgeon... Or liposuction. I do not recommend it.

A farmer coughed and spit loudly. A van outside bore a hand painted sign on the back door which said: "Our God can whip your Allah. Buddha too." Welcome to Luverne, Minnesota. Pamida was filled with octogenarians going "yah, yah, yah!" and nodding and staring and I got into a dangerous game of chicken with a lady who could have been my grandma and a tank-like motorized scooter that could have been my tombstone.

The bathrooms are spacious, like all of southern Minnesota. Luverne has a drive-in movie theater, a drive-in diner, a bison statue and a herd of bison at a great state park. Illegal fireworks are only twenty minutes away by automobile, or three hours on a bicycle assuming you make it without getting pulled over on the interstate. If you just toss in some tunes, some drugs and a few irresponsible adults who talk to animals I'd call it a party.

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 5
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