BP

BP

Wasta, SD

Reviewed June 10th, 2005

This BP is fully automated, attended by no human beings, and only takes credit cards. I've always known that automated gas pumps existed but I did not think they usually came with automated restrooms, a vending machine area and microwave. The fact that it is fully automated and unattended means that these restrooms were self taught. They had to forge a hardscrabble life for themselves on the high, prairie table lands. It was more scrappy then slap happy. They fought off rattlesnakes with their bare hands. I did not say softscrabble or medium scrabble did I? They beat back pipe cloggers, carpet baggers and range rovers and suffered through severe toilet tissue famines that turned entire towns into crappy places during the great Shit Bowel of the thirties. For all this loneliness and desolation, BP Wasta has seen some traffic. One can tell by the dirty tracks all over the floor. Still the toilets and sinks were clean. I routinely see far worse in places attended by one or more human beings. White painted concrete and silent surveillance cameras are the only ambassadors on your visit to Wasta if BP is your only stop. It was like landing on Mars and finding a robot to greet me with a pre-recorded voice that represented an alien race who died eons ago but left behind this relic in expectation of contact from other life forms from beyond the outer rim. From their deaths we learn a lesson about not overexploiting natural resources and the value of neighborly relations instead of killing each other until its too late. Yeah right!

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 6
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