Hidden Falls Park

Hidden Falls Park

St. Paul, MN

Reviewed July 18th, 2005

A place fit for a burro, but not a woman or a man or a child or a manchild. Squalor - its a seven letter word for the bathroom at Hidden Falls Park. A spay painted bit of gang graffiti featured an angry, sloppily drawn Pac Man style ghost. When I came back later, the ghost letters - spelling the worst "BASP" or Bored Angry Stupid Peons, a local gang that draws ghosts, throws salt at demons, summons the dead and helps rich elderly Republicans find loopholes in their taxes - were painted over but redrawn in the toilet stall. These people are busy.

No mirror hangs above the sink in this cinder block cell because it might reflect poorly on the shithole and its bacteria ridden contents. A smooshy brown substance graced the lower left corner of the sink, which features a drinking fountain on the left and a push tap (that you have to continuously push to keep the water flowing) on the right. Do you think I guessed what the substance was? Do you think I leaned over for a drink of water? Hell no. I don't think I'd let my dog piss in here.

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 2
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