Landmark Center, 2nd Floor Mens

Landmark Center, 2nd Floor Mens

St. Paul, MN

Reviewed August 28th, 2005

My personal theory for bathroom color schemes is that, in general, brown is out – but if you’re gonna go brown, go all the way. It seems those at the Landmark Center share the same sentiment. They’ve accentuated the old brown tile with brown-painted walls, and finished with various tan/brown hues for the counter top, stalls and air drier. This is a new level of brown, folks – and it works.

Upon entering this brown womb through the heavy (brown) wood door, there is a certain sense of solace and refuge, and with its stirring quiet, one can feel the history of the place. While it as been renovated, they kindly left holes where the old hardware was, presumably as honored ruins of early-Minnesota plumbing. The building was originally used as the region’s post office and federal courthouse, which made me wonder how many postal workers shuffled in and out this room after long, dusty days delivering news from the east. And I found myself contemplating the possibility that I was taking a whiz in the same bathroom that Machine Gun Kelly and John Dillinger used for potty breaks during their 1930’s federal trials that were held here for charges of robbing, killing and general mobster business.

I was jarred back to reality, however, upon glancing down at the urinal divider and noticing the rusted splotches created by the splatter of pee. This is a top faux pas in the restroom world; what this means is, not only had the pee not been cleaned off, but it has been building up and sitting long enough to actually cause rust, maybe from as far back as Dillinger himself.

This was particularly disquieting because otherwise the bathroom was immaculate, really, not a spot in the place. No dust, no grime. The cleaning staff had gotten so carried away with the detergent that the sickly-sweet smell was overpowering. So intense, in fact, that I could smell it in my cloths long after I’d left the building, haunting me with unanswered questions of pissers from the past and urine rust.

RESTROOM RATING: 8
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